Women are commonly the main target of body-shaming. However, body-shaming impacts men as well. Yes, those mysterious and misunderstood men. So let's crack open the unspoken truth behind body-shaming and the masculine.
To fight against body-shaming, we must first delve into the belly of the beast to fully understand it. The Art of War has taught us that the enemy must be known.
BODY-SHAMING…WE NEED TO STOP IT DEAD IN ITS TRACKS!
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
BY THE NUMBERS: BODY-SHAMING
The All-Party Parliamentary Group on Body Image launched a study of body-image, shaming, and body-dissatisfaction. The results are disheartening.
60% of adults feel ashamed by the way they look.
40% of adult men report they have felt pressure from TV and magazines to have a perfect body.
34% of adolescent boys have been on a diet to change their body shape or to lose weight.
2/3 of adults suffer from negative body image.
1/3 of men would sacrifice a year of their life to achieve their ideal body.
BODY-SHAMING IN MEN
Body-shaming is such a negative concept that a euphemism exists: body-dissatisfaction.
Glen Jankowski, Senior Lecturer in the School of Social Sciences at Leeds Beckett University, spent eight years studying male body-dissatisfaction for his Ph.D. His research found that men purchased clothes to hide “problem areas” and, at times, avoided sex so their partners would not see them naked.
That’s right.
Some men are avoiding sex because of the shame they feel about their bodies.
Additionally, Jankowski found that men are dissatisfied with their muscle tone, body fat, and hairlines that are a result of advertisements in popular magazines, on dating websites, and porn sites too, highlighting young, lean men with heads full of hair. (Screw you. Ladies find bald men sexy and good in the sack...hello more testosterone)!
Take a look at the action figures on the shelves of Target. It is not your imagination that they look more muscular than the GI. Joe’s of your youth.
A study completed back in 1999 (body-shaming is NOT a new idea) found that male action figures have unrealistic body proportions, even when compared to the most significant body-builders.
STUDIES SPECIFIC TO MEN
No offense to women, but we truly do steal the spotlight on body-shaming studies.
Very few stats, especially current ones, exist on male body-shaming, but let's not interpret the lack of recent studies to mean that body-shaming in men has gone by the wayside.
BODY-SHAMING IS BULLYING - STOP BEING THE BULLY
Body-shaming doesn’t care if you are male, female, trans, or a unicorn. It is an equal opportunist discriminator.
56% of bullied children state that their appearance was the target of the bullying. An even more disgusting figure is that 12% of young people bullied about their weight end up eating more.
Dr. Adrienne Key warns that children and adults can develop eating disorders and depression as a result of physical insecurity and body shaming.
“There is absolutely no evidence that talking about weight encourages people to sustain a healthy diet or exercise.” Peter Muenning, Associate Professor at Columbia University
CONNECT ON A DEEPER LEVEL TO BUILD HIS CONFIDENCE
So ladies, the next time he looks away or seems uninterested, don't take it personal. This one could be all in his head and he may need more of your mindful attention in these moments.
Communicate
We are all guilty of this at times. SILENCE. The relationship sword. But communication is key to long-term success. Sometimes silence between a couple can be a sign of comfort and closeness knowing you are both comfortable just being in each others presence. But sometimes, however, it's a sign that you have nothing left to say. This can't happen! Talk to him and try to get him to open up to you on how he's feeling. This is a great time to tell him about your insecurities too. Play a game of "I'll tell you mine, if you'll tell me yours" but don't stop there! It's so important to share your thoughts and dreams. Build a bond that is unbreakable, and in no time, you'll have him saying YES!!
Touch him more throughout the day
Have you stopped touching each other during the day? In too many relationships, we stop touching each other unless we want sex. Don't let that happen! Especially if you think he may be feeling insecure about himself. Make a point of touching him throughout the day. Hug him, grab his ass, or pull him in close for a long kiss. Be expressive on what exactly you love about him, and tell him why you love that quality about him.
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